What is it all for?
And yet on some days, you're not quite so sure. The great irony of life is that you need to live hard, as you have, to make something meaningful out of it. But you need to laze around, idly reflecting, to actually figure out the meaning in what you've made of your life. And since you haven't done much of that, you grope. And fail. And then you seek the dirty V-word. Validation. Tough, since you're better than the people you seek it from, right?
Get rich or die trying. What will you do once you succeed tho?